THE LANVIN CAN CAN

posted by: Jacob Halajian


After dorking out at the movie theaters (we polished our wands, practiced our most powerful Ava Cadavras, and went to see the brand new, ultra dark, best ever Harry Potter 7, Part 1 movie), Guilty did the unthinkable. We ditched sleep, showering, and anything that might put us under the category of "normal human beings" and stayed up through the night, waiting outside of the Beverly Center's H&M store for the most anticipated fashion event of the season.


Well, most anticipated when you consider our modest and meager means of channelling sophistication. That's right, we stood in a queue of around 200 other (cheapo) fashionistas for the launch of Lanvin's collaboration with the ever-so-affordable H&M clothing brand.

We rushed inside promptly at 8:00AM, our eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, and witnessed something we never would have expected. The men's racks were literally emptied before our very own eyes within a matter of seconds. When the stock was replenished, dinner jackets, dress pants, t-shirts, shoes, and button-downs were grabbed off the racks before we could say, "Get your hands off, Ebay reseller bitch."

One of us literally got into a full-throttled argument with another customer who claimed he had dibbs on a shirt we put our paws on first. He ended up being on the larger size and so was the jacket, so, unfortunately, that battle was lost. You may think we're exaggerating, but believe us when we say that mannequins were dropping to the floor, eyes were getting poked with coat hangers, and wallets and smart phones were being stolen all over the place. It was a Black Friday nightmare if we've ever seen one, especially since nothing was even on sale!

But all in good fun. We managed to pick up a few good items, or "staples" as we like to call them, lifting our brow just a little bit higher, without racking up a bill in the thousands. For the next month, we'll have to munch on cheap seaweed snacks, or McDonald's hamburgers to get by, but, boy, will we look good doing it.

Here are just a few of our favorites from the super exclusive, sold out, we-wish-you-were-there sale:

We love, love, love this dress. And we love, love, love that it comes in magenta red with a pink belt. Definitely a snag for $250.

While the men's collection wasn't all too expansive, we just had to pick up the essentials: cheetah print bow tie, super-chic tuxedo jacket, and to-die-for trench coat (not pictured).

How could we say NO to this?

So, was it worth it? Hell yeah. Would we do it again? Probably not. Are we still awake, crazed, and cracked out? Si, senor. Our gut tells us that the Lanvin/H&M collaboration was a decent one, no doubt, but could have definitely used a bit more finessing. Some of the items were plain boring, and a couple of the dresses looked like they'd fallen off the racks of Forever XXI.

But we cannot explain to you how much we love Lanvin, how much more we adore Alber Elbaz, and how much we wish that we could rack up a bill in the thousands. Of course, we'd rather save the poor. That goes on the record.